Sunday, September 25, 2011

say I Love you

It occurred to me a few months ago that I do not say "I love you" to our baby daughter. I'll admit I was surprised by this realization, but I understood why... I never really said it to her because this whole time I felt that my actions, my daily care, my constant presence, was how I showed my love for her... My love for her was bigger than those three words and was felt on so many levels- through the process of her coming into our lives, starting with our vows and continuing all the way up to the countless hugs, the pecking and slobbery kisses that find themselves planted on her toes, her neck, her back... through the squeezes I give her chunky baby thighs... through our sacrifice, the late night feedings, my new role as a human pacifier... my love for her is felt every time I look at her, and how I find myself missing her during nap time (insane). yadda yadda- you get the picture. This was an interesting concept I found myself pondering.

But I realized, even though she understands this form of love, it was important that she hear the words, that she learn what they mean. And so with these kisses often come these three words. I remember the first time I consciously said it to her, I made eye contact and whispered "I love you" in her ear and then gave a kiss to that big baby cheek, to which she turned her gaze to meet mine and gave me a little contented happy smile. And thus the light bulb went off above my head, saying: YES this is something you should teach her, that even though she can't say it, she can understand the words... she needed to hear "I Love you" like she will need to hear everything ... to know not just the feeling that is felt ... but to know the language of what we feel for her, of what we share...

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