Friday, December 30, 2011
It's a slippery slope into hermit-hood
Think of it as the biggest culture shock of your life... just when you are getting the hang of something and you are beginning to feel normal- the slightest new experience that was once effortless, dare I said mindless, is now a total cluster fuck. It's like you are an amputee trying to navigate a situation that was once so easy and familiar... but the stark difference between your old life and your new life is so startling yet subtle (like a nasty sneaky little bi-atch) that it makes you not want to ever leave the house...
I'll break it down for you. Ie: I'll give you an example without getting into too much trouble. I went "Shopping" with my mom and sister today at the mall. First off, the husbo thought he could watch the baby so i could go baby less meaning it might actually feel like a break dare I say a treat. But late last night he found out he would have to work today so the baby would be our companion. Now I don't want to sound ungrateful here, I'm merely using this scenario as an example for the new-ish mom topic I'm exploring. I do realize there are women who are in refugee camps and in much shittier situations, but this is what I'm drawing from, I'm American after all (eye roll).
First the day starts out with me inventing and scheming new ways to make breakfast fun so she will eat it (which if you know our baby, this is usually a non issue for which I am very grateful) but this morning was a bit more of a challenge... So I manage to feed her and kinda myself and then go get us both ready for our outing. I throw on the outfit I've been wearing for the last three days because it's actually an outfit of sorts and doesn't have snot or food on anything... I manage to brush my teeth- huge score in my book and even remembered to swipe on the underpit stuff and some mascara. poof I'm ready to go! this all happens pretty fast compared to what is about to take place next- getting the baby ready.
Over the past fews months with her increased mobility it's become more of a wrestling match. It's not violent but it has this impromptu choreography of which she is the lead. So I get her dressed and in the long ass time it's taken me to dress both of us and equip my purse with baby crap- food, diapers, toys, water. My sister was able to actually SHOWER blow dry and flat iron her hair and lord knows what else, solve a cross word puzzle, watch her favorite tv show!? I don't know but you get my point with the time suck I now live in... so we get to the mall, my mom goes to her computer Mac class, my sister goes to do her thing while I set up shop at some couches in Nordstrom for snack time- banana and cheerios... Yes my friends, nothing like going "Shopping" with your mom and sister plus the baby to get a slap in the face with how much your life has changed, i.e.: me alone with the baby and cheerios... it is what it is, and I know you don't believe me but I'm not really complaining so much as delivering the facts. And I'm not heart broken or anything since I go to the mall maybe once or twice a year... but it's because of this rarity that makes this change such a bigger surprise...
and leaving the mall, as nap time LOOMS, the baby is crying and you are that one dragging a crying baby out of a mall... Congratulations you are now that person!!! That's what you got at the mall today, not a new pair of shoes, or a new battery for your watch- you got the reality check that you are now one of THEM.
so what was suppose to be a fun day out turns into a bigger mess than any other typical day, because you now have to take care of an over stimulated and tired baby, who once home goes down pretty easy but only to wake up 45 freaking minutes later!!!! Hence the sentiment to never leave the house. Why go out and through all that bullshit to only create more crap for yourself when you get home!? Plus the whole time you are out at the mall you no longer feel like yourself, because even if you had the money to buy something nice where would you wear it to, the kitchen? Because after today that's where I'll be.