What I've Learned this week and it's only Tuesday... Road Trip Edition

(smiling in her sleep)

We took a road trip to Maine last week... which seems to be our only mode of transportation now that we have a toddler (cheaper than flying). And we have learned a thing or two along the way. I'm here to report back on this road trip theme.

* After our road trip to Maine in April, we learned that you have to leave either right at bedtime, or at 2am- your objective is to avoid as much of their wakeful time as possible. Sure, you might have to sit there in silence, but that silence is GLORIOUS and beats the alternative!

* That being said, have headphones (at least one since it's not entirely legal) or simply install one of those fake soundproof glass dividers like they have in limos.

* To piggy back on that, I had a towel that I rigged up between the two front seats to keep the sunrise from waking her up. (YES, the sunrise! We look forward to the days when we can take road trips at a more reasonable hour.)

* Have a bag of goodies with you to disperse to her in intervals. I had some of her favorite books, plus a sketch pad with crayons and stickers. Save the big guns for last. IE: I discovered a puppet was a fantastic tool. I had it attack her Dad during the last 45 mins of the trip, which she thought was hilarious and bought us some stress free moments.

* For this trip we bought a little tray for her, one that she could use to draw with, to play with her toys... as a catch all to avoid everything falling to the ground, and me having to CONSTANTLY retrieve it for her. I bought the "Taby Tray" since I read that kids even up to age 13 still used it on road trips. I'd rather buy something with a longer life span than something that would only suit her for a year. (the tray has a cup holder and a little crayon trough at the top.)

* When all else fails, sometimes ignoring her is what she needs. She can be too over sensitized, bored, etc... it's like when they can freak out in their normal environment, only times a million in the car... thus ignoring her is sometimes the best solution, it allows her to chill out and recharge.

* In order to avoid stopping, and thus waking her up, I think everyone needs what Daivd Sedaris refers to as the "Stadium Pal" i.e. a small catheter. joking, joking, kinda.

* If you're a super adult, than checking for major construction along your route is a responsible thing to do ahead of time... always said in hindsight as we are stuck in traffic.

* A plus- we eat healthier road tripping with a child- yogurt, fruit and lots of water.

* It's okay to leave your high standards at home... if the time calls for it and she's being a pistol, it's okay to give in and let her watch clips of Annie and Elmo on your phone, those 20 mins it buys you is like taking a long uninterrupted shower... (Although I never use screen time as a tool or bribe, when it comes to road trips, this rule goes out the window.)

* When driving at her bedtime, we imitate her bedtime routine- Pjs, books, certain songs, bunny, blanket, usually followed by ignoring her... as she grows more delirious and like a drunk sorority girl she will just sit there and request one song over and over and over again. No rational explaining seems to help her, just ignoring her until she moves on and has accepted that the dj has gone home.  Usually followed by holding "momma's" hand until she falls asleep. Adorable and uncomfortable, but that's the irony of motherhood right there- we sacrifice our comfort, etc for our children... but we win in the end with some nice little hand holding, and a sleeping child. ; )

What I've Learned this Week and It's only Tuesday...

* On her first boat ride this weekend, that wheezing/ chocked breathing noise is probably because the life vest is interfering with her breathing... so un-zip it a bit...? Or just tell her to get over it like I did.

* If your toddler is too much on the go to ever stop and cuddle with you (sniff sniff) then take them on a fast and bumpy boat ride- welcome to cuddle-ville. They won't let go and will lay on you like a dead fish, which will make you think back to the breathing thing, and check their pulse constantly.

* It's too hot to not have a proper insulated water bottle for her, these sippy cups aren't doing a dam!

* This one's a no brainer, but do not feed your child 1.5 prunes before a 2 hour car trip. Nothing atomic happened in the car diaper wise, but she was suppose to take her nap in the car, which she only took half of and cried for the second half of the nap the rest of the way to the shore... (of course I was flying solo) Later that evening I put two and two together and realized (like an IDIOT!) that she must have been so upset in the car because her bowels were about to be flushed. go me!

* I'm well versed in the physical exhaustion of being a mother, but now I'm getting a crash course on the auditory exhaustion of living with a small parrot. (I have been, and will continue to repeat something like this every week!)

* And after turning around at a playground to see her with an un opened condom wrapper in her mouth, I'm wondering if there is such a thing as mouth sanitizer...?

* Making a tent out of her crib is AWESOME and she is super into it!. I just put this big quilt over half of it, give her some books and her light up ladybug and she is all set! Then she plays this game where she dumps the contents of the crib onto the floor, saying "All Done!".

* Hearing her say "Was Dat?" when pointing to the sunset in the car the other night, was so sweet and cute and made me really excited to experience those beautiful night time moments in nature with her as she gets older.  Then when we got home from the shore we hung out at back and caught lighting bugs/ fireflies with her.

* She's started singing "Tomorrow, Tomorrow" from Annie today, and I'm scratching my head where she learned this...!?  We listen to "Hard Knock Life" (which means now she shouts "Back to WERK!") but we don't listen to tomorrow... I have an investigative crew out to find answers. (I'll post a video of her singing it soon!)

What I've Learned this week and It's only Tuesday...

(My weekly motherhood post)

* Language is like walking, once they start each day is a bigger improvement on what was learned the day before.

* That being said, it's like having a parrot she repeats everything we say so watch it!

* She will also just sit there and repeat a phrase over and over again practicing it. As a result I'm working on not ignoring her. Ignoring her would not only teach her that she isn't being heard, but it literally doesn't work! She will stop once you acknowledge her. She's not being stubborn just learning and I think she thinks you can't hear her if you are not responding! Plus since her language is still limited she might be saying so much with just one word... so it helps to take that word, or name, and talk about the dog with her. "Oh Millie!? Yes she is probably home sleeping, or she is running around outside barking! silly Millie! Shall we pet her when we get home?" One might feel and sound like an idiot, but it calms her down to try and carry on a conversation with me. Plus along the way it is teaching her new words, as she fanatically nods in agreement and repeats after me, "Yes, Millie sleeping, Millie barking, no barking Millie".


* And I forgot to mention last week, that I have this new thing where I figuratively award myself "Motherhood Merit Badges". It's a little pat on the back I give myself when I'm being extra calm and thrifty- for example when during naked kiddie pool time, as I watched my naked daughter standing alone in the garage begin to poo, I ran towards her with a bucket catching it in said bucket and was able to avoid a crappier situation. I stayed calm and told her that this was a lot like pooping on the potty, that she should try it next time! ; ) Boom, motherhood merit badge awarded- with a little embroidered poop in a bucket. 

What I've learned this week and it's only Tuesday

(my weekly, or bi weekly motherhood post that attempts to document my motherhood education, which is a constant learning curve, where the little lessons are the biggest accomplishments)


* I'm currently working on making our goodbye at bedtime shorter. We have a pretty scripted routine when it comes to bedtime, the predictability of it is comforting for all involved. Bath, Pjs, Books, Bunny and toddler take turns turning off the lights... but sometimes she's extra sad... and I wonder if it's because I'm just too much fun (joke/sarcasm). But seriously, perhaps the goodbye is too long- making her sad. Like when my brother and I would go away to boarding school each year- it was more painful when my parents would come in and sit with us at our boarding gate (back when one could)... I preferred a quick goodbye at the curb, like ripping off a bandaid.  Thus our bedtime routine is still the same, but once the light is off, she gets one or two songs and then poof a kiss goodnight and to bed. She doesn't really want to be rocked like when she was smaller... so I'm taking that as a hint and not pushing it. She's much happier and not so sad, seems to be working (for now!).

* A fun new bedtime thing I've been doing- when turning the lights off, I'll make a face, then quickly turn it back on sharing another wacky facial expression... I repeat this until I run out of silly faces (which doesn't take long). And the toddler giggles and loves it...

* Another bedtime philosophy- fill them up with fun, imagination, and wonderment. Por ejemplo- I sing her a goodnight song (from our music class) where you sing goodnight to everything. We pick out things in the room, she'll make lots of suggestions, some get repeats... We'll sing goodnight to things from our day- the ocean, the bike, the helmet... and then work towards all the people and pets she knows. I like to think this is a fun way to reflect on her day, while being grateful, and feeling so loved that when she has to be alone in her bed- it's a comfort to think back on all the people and things from the song.

* While my cousin was visiting this past week with her 12 month old, her biggest goal was to help her daughter feel comfortable taking a bath on her own in the tub. After a bad spill, where the baby tried to stand up and fell on her face in the tub, my cousin would take baths with her (we did this with our daughter which is very comforting when they are tiny, plus it's adorable).  I'm not sure if it was the baby's time spent in a kiddie pool in the backyard with our daughter where the water was very shallow and full of toys, or playing in the ocean, or the baths she shared with our 20 month old... but I've heard that she is now sitting on her own in the bath.  SO if you have a similar issue- try having a play date where your little one plays with another little one who is comfortable in the water. And take it slow with them, if they want to get out- calmly remove them for a little bit and then calmly put them back in the tub... good luck!

* The toddler's language is developing like crazy- her newest word is "Hydrangea". She still needs a translator and there are moments when even I don't know what she is saying, which can be frustrating for all parties involved. It's a constant reminder to be patient and attentive, letting her know she is heard, if not understood. This helps us avoid any toddler-esque meltdowns, etc.

* She is really into bows and jewelry at the moment. So last night at bed when I explained to her she can't wear them to bed and I started taking them away from her, she was getting a little worked up and I could see a storm on the horizon. So I acted quickly and asked her if she would want to put them away herself in a special bowl on her dresser. She adamantly agreed, we did this, and all was well. Sometimes they just need a proper goodbye, on their terms that feels respectful. ; )

What I've Learned this week and it's Only Tuesday

* Week to week this lesson holds true- the more I take time to explain what we are about to do, the easier she is at easing from one transition to the next... it's less overwhelming for her.

IE: She hates to have water on her face at bath time, so I explain to her before I rinse her hair, how I'm going to lay her back in the tub, she will be safe, doesn't have to be sad or cry, that I'm going to rinse her hair and it will be easy and fast. This works great and I wait to rinse her hair when she is ready. Of course during her little rinse I have to continue to reassure her... but it all works out well.

* I've been rubbing lavender oil on her feet at night before bed, she loves this because she can now say Lab-en-dah and loves smelling it in the garden... not only is it a fun activity but it helps to rehydrate her dry summer sandal toes, while also taking away some of the summer sandal foot funk. PLUS it's a great promise to help ease her into wrapping up bath time "Let's let the water out of the tub and go get our pjs on and put lavender oil on your feet!"

* I've been doing more Love and Logic with her lately- giving her choices (my choices) like- would you like to feed yourself your rice, or would you like Mommy to help?  OR, You can stay here and play with us quietly or you can go in the other room and think about being quiet. (said in response to random screaming)

* Taking extra time at bedtime to reconnect is always a joy, full of unexpected fun and touching moments.

* I've been using her toy bunny to help get some things done... when she resists having her diaper changed, we change bunny's diaper first. We wipe bunny, fasten the diaper and then it's the toddler's turn for a diaper change.  We also use bunny at bedtime- Bunny turns off the light by the rocking chair after we are finished reading books. Sometimes Bunny misbehaves and will turn off the light and then immediately turns it right back on. We roll our eyes at bunny and giggle and then ask nicely with a please and a thank you if bunny will turn the light off again. He responds in his raspy New Yorker voice and the light is turned off and we thank him.

What I've learned this week and it's only Tuesday

First, I'll admit that last week was tough on me. Our daughter was irritable, quick to being fussy and not her normal happy go lucky self, I think it's the teething... or perhaps just too much of seeing me all the time, and vice and versa. Baby-mommy cabin fever! She is so task oriented at this age (18 months) that boredom can also play a factor in her mood... So I'm brainstorming some things in that dept, will report back! The husband and I are still brainstorming ways to give me a break, and we are coming up with some fun solutions... ones that haven't been put into practice yet, but they sure look good on paper! ; ) Hello, a few days at the shore by myself! And yet I'm always amazed how in one second I can go from being completely "done" with the toddler-isms to being so happy to see her. No other person in my life has this affect on me, which explains why it is so challenging I'm sure! any who, here's my little Tuesday list of what I've learned this week.

* having a toddler is like having a foreign exchange student who only speaks "scream" (there are lots of hand gestures, body language and facial cues that attempt to fill in the language gap)

* like Sesame Street, we have a word of the day, yesterday's was "back" as in "Put that back please". Other days have been "brought to you by..." the word cucumber (cue-cumbah), River (ri-ber), Bib (bib), Hammock (hamm-iCK!) etc

* This week I've been using some tools from the book Love and Logic, when it comes to diaper changes: "Would you like to help mommy with the diaper change? Or do you need to sit here and think about it...?" I'll ask her this at least two times (with long pauses), and if she isn't making a clear decision, and still isn't participating in the diaper change I won't belabor the issue, I simply say, "Okay, you chose to sit here and think about it, see you in a bit". To which I promptly leave the room, close the door and a minute or two later come back in and she is ready for a new diaper. I've done this 3 times and now all diaper changes are smooth, and no longer a game of tag you're "IT". It's not a punishment per say, but another educational opportunity where she is learning about making choices and how some choices allow her to move on to more fun activities.

* We haven't been using a monitor at night for almost a month now... she never wakes up during the night, plus our rooms are so close I can hear her if she does. It's a nice distance to have, I sleep better, since I don't stir with every turn she makes. And in the morning she shouts, "HEY!" and we go get her up. ; )

* She's never been great with having her hair washed, especially the more aware she becomes, this goes for any water on the face. So when washing her face during bath time, we take turns, I wash her face and then she washes my face, and repeat!

What I learned this week and it's only Tuesday

*I'm officially a real mom- dancing like a dork in the car to entertain our toddler.

* Ever have a stalker? that's what having a mobile toddler is like... poof just when you think you've lost them- they're right there pulling on your pant leg.

* There is a socially acceptable amount of peanut butter one can wear out in public.

* Yogurt is like white deodorant, just when you think you have it off your clothes or face- it reappears crusty and yellow.

* Even with a dog on clean up, feeding a hard boiled egg to a toddleer is a messy thing, making tiny crumbs that even the dog can not find.

*A Frisbee in the car is a fantastic impromptu puke receptical- as is one's hand as my husband also demonstrated.

* My diaper bag should now include band aids- her speed and mobility are not always so sure footed, and I should be prepared!

What I learned this week and it's only Tuesday

(my weekly motherhood post, written with the idea that as mothers we process and learn so much every single minute of every day...)

* having a toddler is like having a pet monkey- the random shrieking and jumping all over you, climbing on you and sticking their hand down your shirt. (I'm hoping to not add throwing poop to this list)


* speaking of poo- I'm now in the "baby pooped in the bathtub" club, I like to think I handled it well... ; / (it was like witnessing a water birth)


*  I think we mark a baby's life in months even after a year, because each month is a huge accomplishment for everyone involved.


* to promote her solo play time in her room, dancing around playing follow the leader seems to show her other areas she can play with- for an additional 10 seconds! ; )


* We taught her "Thank You" and "please" which she uses now instead of saying "up", she will now just say "peeeese". And when I ask her is she wants more food she says "Thank You" as opposed to yes, pretty cute.


* That no matter her age (16.5 months) she will still put dirt and rocks in her mouth. (this current phase of teething is so intense she tried to chew on my shoe during a diaper change! this is very odd for 16 months! lol )


* This shrieking phase is just what it is, it's going to suck and I might be under the disillusion that I can make it go away, but like other odd kiddo things- this might just be one we have to wade out until her language picks up filling in the frustrating communication gap.

What I've learned this week and it's only Tuesday

(my Tuesday post where I share and explore what motherhood has taught me, to help demonstrate how much I am constantly learning, (some weeks more than others.))

* I earned a serious merit badge for our first time out moment in the laundry room this week... for some reason there is a communication block during snack time- when she signs and says "more" with a mouth dangerously full of snack, I patiently tell her she needs to finish what is in her mouth first.. and then she looses it- her mouth opens revealing a nasty mash of food, and that big silent build up cry forms and explodes... and then there is no turning back... thus our little time out moment when I quietly sat with her and had to wait until she calmed down before giving her more snack... phew. a good lesson in patience (I hope)

* That I'm one serious ninja- able to be stealth and sneak into her room during nap time to retrieve my forgotten cell phone.

* I might talk about myself in the third person referring to myself as "Momma" to our dog out of habit when the baby is asleep ; / Millie doesn't seem to mind.

* That sitting in the sun during our "recess" outside-fun-time before  lunch, is REALLY nice, like- really nice. And conjured up images of myself doing just that all summer long... which reminds me I should get going on making a sand box or something!

* Working on when she asks to be picked up (by saying "Up, peeeese") by not always picking her up, but instead telling her no up, and suggesting she play with this or that, or explore this or that, or help me with this or that.

* Even though we only use disposables over night with the babe, and cloth diapers during the day- the 7 disposable diapers that stack up in our trash between trash days is ROUGH... and is making me consider a cloth over night alternative- thoughts?

* Cutting her finger nails, which was once an epic task of apparent torture, is now a lot better and perhaps pleasant when I sit her in my lap and trim her nails with little nail scissors and not with her usual baby nail clippers- BIG difference... the little scissors allow me to cut close and more accurately with a curved edge rather than creating sharp daggers - leaving part of the nail tall and the other slope shorter than the nail line and harmful. (see what my mind is full of- nail cutting strategies!)

What I've learned this week, and it's only Tuesday...

(my sometimes weekly motherhood post, written with the idea that motherhood is a constant teacher.)

* taking a bath with our daughter worked at easing her new random hatred of bath time. We played with the bubbles and toys and she actually stayed in the bath for more than 5 seconds... (trade off, it seems she reserved her crying for bedtime, so that was awesome)

* the trick of dividing her food into a muffin tin kept her attention during dinner and she ate a lot of the food (on a night where she was whooped, under the weather with a bad cold and at least two new teeth)

* having her call me "Momma, Momma" over and over again upon seeing me after we have been apart is really great, it's awesome, I love it

* she's getting better when wielding a spoon, but some days she requires a wardrobe change before nap.

* speaking of naps, we are out of the 1 hour zone and into the 2-2.5 zone!! hooray! perhaps because we have "recess" everyday before lunch, and if she does wake up after only an hour, I don't go to her, I let her wrestle around until she falls back asleep.

* Never leave her tiny bowl of cucumber within reach when you are out of reach, it leads to a toddler's mouth FULL of veg. Which I'm happy she's into I'm just not into the whole chocking thing.

* a little baby fever is made better with lots of hugs and cuddling (see above picture, sad little one)

* I love listening to her singing and chatting to her animals before she falls asleep and after she wakes up in the morning. (I also love watching her "read" to herself, while turning the pages. And "counting" favorite objects in and around the house.)

* her solo outdoor playtime, where she wonders around on her own, discovering and inventing games, is beginning to translate to her indoor playtime, making her more independent with a longer attention span, which is great!

What I've learned this week, and it's only Tuesday...

* I love how she asks to "read" our books when she climbs on our bed "boooo-k booooo-k, muh, muh (more)" and how she leafs through the pages like a master black jack dealer shuffles the cards.

* my elephant noise does not hold a candle to my husband's elephant sounds

* I also need to work on my dolphin sound effect (suggestions?)

* living with a toddler is like living with a raven, they are attracted to random shiny objects, especially trash, and they collect said objects and build a little nest wherever they go... or more accurately they leave a bread crumb trail of trash around your room.

* THUS as a result being a mom to a toddler means you are also a detective, you can look at all the clues- i.e.: the hodgepodge collection of crap on your floor and decipher when and where the child was at such and such a time and therefore her other shoe must be.....? HERE, beneath my pillow!

* the baby's kissing phase is really cute, I just wish our dog understood it as affection and not as a threat to her small delicate boston terrier physic.

* That no matter how confident I feel about the cloth diapers, to never skip the final extra rinse they NEED in the wash. no sense bringing on mean nicknames like "cauliflower butt" for the baby.

* This new sleeping phase she is in- where she no longer needs to be rocked until fully asleep, then put down, but rather put her down while awake to fall asleep on her own- is a BIG milestone! go toddler, go toddler GO! (although I do miss the falling asleep on me thing, sniffle sniffle)

What I've learned this week, and it's only Tuesday...

* If you wear fleece pants and a nice-ish wool sweater to bed, you can disguise these as clothes the next day, no one is the wiser.

* being a good mom, means I'm a bad friend (to my age appropriate friends)

* not a good idea to store baby boogers in your back pocket, besides the fact that it's gross, they dry into hard little daggers that stab the crap out of the sensitive skin beneath your fingernail

* when you put chapstick on her lips, it will come back more wet

* don't ever find yourself sitting behind her when she is  "Playing", this phase of throwing crap behind her is lethal.

* she might find an impromptu fort with the two of you beneath a sheet on your bed fun- but not so much when the setting is her crib and you are on the outside of the sheet

* we put a toddler stool at the foot of our bed so she can climb on to a bench and then on to our bed, and back down again, over and over and over and over and over and over and over AGAIN! mildly supervised of course. ; ) It's the best thing since peanut butter.

* New go to food- Chopped & steamed cauliflower with half&half, cheddar cheese and crumbled blue cheese- in the microwave for 1.50 on level 5- will have her chowing down at lunch with a loud MMMMm after every bite, I have to agree, it's genius.

* every night, after she is in bed, is like Christmas Eve in a way... you occupy yourself with those secret things you can't do in front of her, like eat candy, knit, sew, lay perfectly still uninterrupted on your bed listening to audiobooks... and then before daybreak you have to hide all the evidence of your secret life... and baby proof your room once again.

What I've learned this week, and it's only Tuesday...

I wrote a little post like this last Tuesday, and I thought it might be a fun new series to share funny/awkward/perhaps helpful mothering tips. Or more accurately a look into my new life.

* your own scarf is now your personal bib, not to mention the first thing she's grabbing on to as she falls to the ground...

* If you choose to lay down in her play area- you will become a human hurdle, jungle gym, obstacle course, you will have a tiny butt sitting on your face, and little fingers poking you in the eyes, but it's still worth it for those few precious seconds (aka what Louis C K refers to as the mini vacation)

* The stank in our room is not diaper related (for once) yup it's time to wash our dog's bed, what an attention whore (get it, sarcasm because we've been neglecting her...)

* Toddler's are a lot like dogs they work hard on their mess and if you try to be sneaky and clean up said mess after they have moved on to another corner, they will come back and play/ mess it up all over again, so be stealth.

* Be sure to check all of your pockets for baby socks before leaving the house, to avoid any awkward stares at the post office.

*this cuddly phase is really fun and cute and helps balance out her hatred of you typing on the computer

What I've learned this week, and it's only Tuesday...

* another way to make a sock dirty: take it off while eating and wipe your sweat potato covered high chair tray with it. Congratulations, it's now dirty.

* a cheerio found on the driveway is fair game.

* if you want to clean, or fold laundry while the toddler is awake- you have to accept the reality that you are sacrificing your space to other smaller messes created by toddler. These are now tripping hazards really... a visual still life collection of random crap that reads "baby was here"

* that re arranging her room, i.e.- moving her little table into the center, divides up the room into little nooks which allows for renewed exploration! (adapting a room now that she is more stable at walking was a little light bulb moment, I wouldn't have done this until now- too many hazards... plus for about a  month just the act of walking was entertainment enough, now she needs more activity available to her...)

* that I can successfully put our 14.5 month old down for her nap without nursing (well as of today, knock on wood. Everyone else can, obviously, it's just a little hard when the milk maid attempts...)

* that corduroy is an unforgiving tattle tail when it comes to food spills, letting everyone know what you and the baby have been eating for the last three days. (mental note, time to change your pants)

* to piggy back on to that, if you are going to wear what you have lying around or hanging on a bathroom hook (classy lady, you) then at least look down and make sure it's not all olive green, or faded black, add in a pop of color... you know, because you don't want to offend the driveway during your outside playtime.

* that "outside play time" or "recess" or (my favorite) "institutionalized play outside time"- is great now that she is walking. So much fun to be had, acorn tops to attempt to eat, ice to smash, geese to flap our wings at, mailman to observe... it's fun to watch her learn and to see how excited she gets and how peaceful she is... She's going be very helpful when we plant tomatoes this year. My fondest childhood memories were playing outside, nice to start this with her early.

* and finally, it's sad but true the baby only naps for an hour and no longer. Ie: she's awake... see yah!